Episode 46 Proceed To The Route With Special Tribute To Varn Jr

Show Notes

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p.s. Apologies for not mentioning, Tina Brown is deceased. It should have been said, the Late Tina Brown.

Full Transcript

Proceed To The Route (Edited version on the way)

We eventually came together and parented them as a unit, not saying that we were all hunky dorey all the time because we were not. The division was great between my husband and her. So we never achieved a really good friendship or, you know, hanging out. Buddy buddy, can’t think we never could achieve that.

All Three Unpretentious

We did model walking in. Agape love. We were all three very strong will and we were unpretentious. All three were unpretentious. You got what you got from us. We weren’t fakers, in other words. So if we weren’t feeling it, we were not gonna sit down and fake with you. May I say that plainly? That didn’t always serve us well, in some arenas. And that’s why even now, I struggle with the political games that people play. Most prophets aren’t born to be in politics. It is too difficult because in politics they do that all day. They do that all day. I observe it. So we were not that way.

But we had learned how to come into agreement about our sons. We learned that and we modeled that Agape love And we made the best decisions that way…

Saints. Greetings. I have a somber tone. First of all, welcome to the Sunday sermon program. I am recording this a little late as of yesterday, which was Saturday, January 11 2020  we laid my son to rest. This message was rolling and rolling in my spirit man. So I decided that I have to get up and record it because it might not be so clear in the morning or later. This whole weekend has become one big day. I will try to get through my emotions bear with me.

This is gonna be awesome. Like I always say, it’s gonna be a good. I have a beautiful message prepared for you today. And, um let me pray over the program and myself for the grieving family. Father, I commit my life to you. I commit this program. I commit, my son a fresh to you. I commit my son that’s still here afresh to you and his family. I commit the Brown family to you afresh. I commit the late Tina Brown’s family to you afresh and I commit all the family and friends of our Varn, Jr. This show is committed to you father. I ask that you bless this show. And may the words I speak be to your glory once again.

I still say it. I still say it Father, I open my mouth wide and you fill it. And Holy Spirit, I invite your presence. I need your presence. I need your presence. And I say that before the people of God, I need God’s presence. I need it. And so do you. Father, be with your people. Touch your people. Heal your people. Set your people free, Father.  I stir up the anointing to preach, teach, speak. Whatever you would have me do, Father, I stir it up.

As a matter of fact, I pray what I prayed off camera for the benefit of the people. Father, I pray I glory in this trial. I glory in it that the power of Christ may rest upon me. The more, yes, that the power of Christ may rest on me. Grant me effective speech. In Jesus name. The title of my message today is Proceed To The Route. Proceed to the route. I know all of our kids know what I’m talking about. They are GPS friendly, but some of us older folks, you may or may not know what I’m talking about, but it’s the term from the technology in our cars and our phones today that helps us go places, that guides us to a destination. It gives us directions instructions if you will on how to get there.

And if we somehow leave the path, you know, we may pull into a gas station or a detour to, ah, a certain place off the route. In the GPS system it will readjust itself. If it sees you making too many changes from the route, it will just say, Proceed to the route, proceed to the root meaning, Get back on the path and I’ll tell you how to get there.

So proceed to the route. It means to us continue. It means continue the journey. Continue on the path that God has set before you. Proceed To The Route that is my title. This is a break from my normal messages. Just to review a little bit. I think it will benefit you. I’ve been preaching and teaching about two passages of Scripture on Sundays. It’s been Revelation 5:12 where it talks about our inheritance package, where we have the seven gifts that God has given us.  I have been unpacking them for the saints of God. We’ve just only begun. I think it’s been 12 messages, maybe at least 10 um, messages about the power of God. We’ve talked about the power in the blood, the power in the name, the power in the word of God. And also we started out with some general power that’s resident in the believer. You don’t have to be a minister. You don’t have to be serving in a office, a New Testament office apostle, prophet, teacher, evangelists, pastor, any of that. You just have to be a believer. And I talked about those powers that are resident in the believer that we need to know how to access and take advantage of and walk in and gain victory in and dominion. So I’ve been preaching about that.

And then, on Wednesday’s in the Word, I had another passage of Scripture from one of the books of Peter, where we again have been examining seven elements that we are to add to our faith. As Christians, we started out laying a foundation. When the apostle peephole I said that, Why do you have having to be talked over and over again, these basic things of faith? You shouldn’t have to be taught these things over and over again. So he named those basic things off, and that’s where I started. On the wind stays in the word beautiful teaching that amount about 10 lessons as well. 10 are Oh, man, no, I missed. Not with that. It’s, um, 30 lessons that we excavated out of that passage of Scripture. The basic doctrine, our Christian faith, the doctrine of baptisms, the God kind of faith and eternal judgment. And I can’t name them 07 off. But there’s seven of them and we examine them and top from them. And we just broke bread together over that one passage of Scripture. It was grand. It was grand. So just to let you know, a little background and those are made available on my website at the parsonage dot com right now or you could go to the podcast Grace Covenant podcast dot live and access those messages as well.

But today I was praying the night before I go on, I preach and teach out of the over for the overflow of my life. And that is the word, the word of God, the overflow of the word of God In my life. Years ago, the Holy Spirit led us to start teaching in the Texas jails and prisons. I was so nervous about teaching and preaching in the jail system so nervous, and one of my dear friends, we lived four power partner. We’ve lost touch, but I still consider her a dear friend, she said earlier. These people have are behind bars. Why are you so nervous about speaking to them? You are under outside living a victorious life. You have much to give to them, so get over it.

In other words, it’s a sense of more things to me, but I don’t have time to go into it. But maybe one day, our real, because she gave me a beautiful perspective and I haven’t lost it yet. And that’s been Oh, man, it’s been a long time ago, quite a few years ago, almost 20 if I were to count it. But just a long time ago, she gave me that perspective and I never lost it. And it’s not because we were looking down on the inmates in that system because she was just saying to me that people are just people. It doesn’t matter where the where they are. People have struggles and they need your help.

If God has given you insight and I’m talking to someone God has given you, this insight is giving you this wisdom. He didn’t give it to you just for you to use it on yourself and your family for even just your little neighborhood. Hey, gave that to you to share where he opens the door of opportunity. I’m preaching to myself now, where he opens the door of opportunity. You step up, stand out, step out and use it. Step out and use it to the glory of God to the glory of God. I I wish I knew the man that sent this, but he said that God’s the gift is God’s gift to you, but you using it is your gift to him. So my gift to the Lord is meat preaching and teaching with the insight that he’s giving me with the wisdom that he’s given me. I remember praying for wisdom as a youngster and my God, he’s been giving it to me. He’s been giving it to me beyond my years.

Even back then it was beyond my years. The wisdom that got gave me I early on, when I first started work walking with the word many of you know my testimony, a young lady walked up to me and she had saw me my conversion. She had witnessed my conversion. God took me 280 degrees. Turn me around, turn my life around. The power got was coming out of my life. And so she had witnessed that. And she people have been coming up to me daily asking me to pray for them. Word got around that God was answering my prayers. When I prayed, she had this problem it and she came up to me and said, Irma, will you pray for me? I have this problem with my daughter. We have been just disagreed and we fight and I said, What do you mean fight? And she said, I mean, we fight, we rolling that we tussle on B roll on the ground, and we’re fighting we’re fighting

and it’s like the Holy Spirit through me. It wasn’t my wisdom and I said, Let me pray for you. First of all, you’re believer, right? And this is for someone again. I know it seems like I’m getting off the path of what I’m supposed to talk about today, but just bear with me. It’s out of the overflow that I’m preaching today. Let me pray with you. I see it and I said, First of all, I take a authority over that period of strike that’s causing confusion in your home. I bind it up in the name of Jesus. That’s it. Second of all, you love your daughter. I can see it already. And you wouldn’t be here standing here asking for prayer if you didn’t love your daughter. I know you love your daughter, and so I buy the spirit. There’s no distance. She doesn’t have to be here. You’re here and we’re standing together. And I took authority over that fear of this obedience that her daughter was operating in. She had said she was gonna run away that day, and she had told her mother, By the time you get home from work. I’m gonna be gone. And I’m sure her intentions were to do so. But I said by the spirit, I pull those blinders off for your eyes and I say, Spirit of rebellion. You see the from causing trouble. I bind you up off of this young lady and you go from her and never come back. In the name of Jesus was a simple prayer. I didn’t make it long out drunk, long and drawn out. And we parted from there. And later on she told me she went home and her daughter was sitting there still with her suitcase. But it wasn’t in the in the hallway or even at the door. He was back in her closet. She was sitting on the bed in her right mind submissive, ready to obey her mother. She said, I don’t know what was wrong with me. It was like something lifted off of my eyes. God gave her a miracle that day. Something was lifted off of my eyes and I could see why am I hurting my mother like this? Why am I acting like this? Father? Help me. Help me, Father, that I always remember that miracle got games that mother that day, and I saw the wisdom that got it different. Me God gave me that. God gave me there.

And he gave it to you, my friend. That gift again, I say that gift God is wooing somebody. That gift that God gave you your to use it. You’re not to sit on it. You’ll be brought into accounts for it. One day you’re not to sit on it, so repent and start using your gift, my friend. Repent and start using your gift. Gotta give you the opportunity. You just look for it. And with this new perspective, you’re going to see it. You’re gonna see it where you’re able to start using it and you may have to start small or you may not. You may be a Jonah that steps right into place in your destiny, on a level that you didn’t think that you were on or you may have to start small either way. Start in Jesus name.

So my text for today is Roman 16. 20 and I’ll let that be my special insight. I’ve given you my review in my special insight, the title of my message again has proceed to the root. Continue. Get back on the path. So what? There’s been an interruption. That’s all right. Take care of it and proceed to the root. Get back on the past. Keep going. Continue in the word Roman 16. 20 in the God of Peace were crushed Satan under your feet. Shortly the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you a man. And that’s my message to you today that the god of peace will do it using your feet. And just like the Apostle Paul said Grace be with you in this whole process. This whole ordeal because I know I’m not alone as a prophet is many times God has me go where many of you are going. And many of you have just traveled this process. You just traveled. And God wants to encourage you. Today he wants to encourage you through. Ah, little old me. He wants to encourage you today and

some I know some of you are curious. My son was murdered and I have something to say about that too. In a minute. You don’t wanna miss it. You don’t want to miss it. My son was murdered and I’m just a murder. It’s not like he was in war. That’s it. No. An honorable death. If I mean ever fallen veterans. So it wasn’t. It was like when, um, I think it was Joe up killed a general, you know, Sneaky. You did it sneaky. He lured him in with a talk of peace and that he was gonna partner with him in this piece. But he didn’t have it in his heart and didn’t have peace in his heart. So when he came to him to talk and he made a gesture like he was gonna hug them instead of hugging him, he stabbed him. And it was said that he made That was a dishonorable killing and unjust killing. Because it wasn’t a time of war. It wasn’t the time to kill. You know, Ecclesiastic tells us that there’s a time to be born. It’s a time to die. No. A time of peace in a time of war. It was not a time of war.

So in my son’s life, it was not a time of war. He didn’t die in the army. He didn’t die in the Air Force. So it was an unjust killing in that way through Satan. Say, knew some people and I won’t name names because I’m not like that. I’m not the accuser. I refused to site with the accuser. I refused to aside with him against people out here What they’ve gone. I know it originated from the enemy anyway. It’s so I’ve forgiven them, but through the enemy you, some people to make it seem like my late husband and our parenting was insignificant. All those years that reported to my son, he wanted to try to make it seem like it wasn’t anything that I had no place in his life, that I had no voice. And it’s like it’s just not true. It’s just not true.

So let me start with this. My name is Irma Brown. This is a part of my declaration and part of what I would have said if I have been given the opportunity. But that’s okay. Perhaps by the guy I knew I would be in a stir about it. Other. He didn’t let me create a scene, I said. I refused to great a scene at mine Sons Europe. I will not do it again. I will not side with the accuser. It has to be done and decency in order. That’s what our family, what’s about? Not just my son, junior. Our family was about that. That’s what we modeled.

And so I know Satan is behind that to tryto bring shame to our family, and I am angry about it. But I believe in Got that. He will help me direct my anger in the right direction. And it’s not at people. It’s not other people. So my name is Irma Brown, and I waas the mom. Okay, that mom of Ron Jr for 29 years, 29 years and wife of his late father, Ron Brown, senior for 25 years. And when I first met Warren Jr. The divorce had happened to their family already. But when I first met him, his little lip was stuck to his chin out of neglect. And I’m not here to bash anyone, but I’m gonna say what God allows me to say. I can’t say everywhere is from God, although I pray it, I’m still human, but I’m not gonna bash anybody. But the truth be told that there were devilish circumstances. Evil events in my son’s life that happened that I had no control over.

My husband had received a call it and said, You need toe, come and get your kids used to come and get them And so he was all in a frantic because he was a family man. He was a family man. She loved it, almost broke him being separated from his Children because that was so strong in him and, uh, the family member, I will say who it is for privacy’s sake, but the family member, you need to come and get your kids. And when we got them, that was the condition. That’s all I’ll say about that. But that was the condition they were in. And so we brought them in and nurtured them and love gone down.

And that’s I know. Sometimes we would get bashed for as parents for not being a stronger, more hard discipline with them. But whether they knew of the history there or not, they fail to understand that that just was not in us. That was just not in us, got in college to do that, he called us to cover their wounds and and put a bomb on them. Not to Curtis, not to be overly Kurt. Critical not to be overly overbearing about anything because they had enough of that in their life already. So my husband, my late husband and I did we, uh, did what God told us to do. We did what God told us to do in my friend. And you’re there. You do what God tells you to do about a year. It wasn’t very long.

My sons, even if they felt disgruntled with her, I would not allow them to do that in front of me or in our house. No, you don’t disrespect your mother. She is still your mother. Whatever beef you have, I would say she’s still your mother. And she has a place of honor in this house. I don’t care what she’s doing. Her You think she’s not going or whatever. And that was my stats then. And that’s always been my stands. Always got grace me with that. That wisdom that was talking to you about earlier. That was one of the spots that it flowed in being a step mom. I didn’t have any experience in doing that, But God’s wisdom would flow through that and I praise him for it. I give him the glory for it. You step moms, let God use you. Let God use you. He’s placed you there for that. And maybe you your Children don’t have those devilish circumstances and evil events overcome like I was talking about. But they still need your love. They still need your understanding. They still need your affection and everything that a child needs from you. As a mother, they need that. Do they need that?

Just like a birth mother. We can’t always be their best friend there, but we can love them. And that’s what I encourage you to do. And that’s what I did. I made the commitment when I married their father that I was gonna love them like my own. And that is lice came from my mom, my mom to my late husband and myself. We asked her counsel, what would she have to say about it? And she says, Well, you make the decision to marry, know that you are in commitment wise. You were marrying those kids too, So treat them like your own. And she said to born, you know, you teach them to respect her. But her advice to me was the love them like my own. And that’s what I did with God’s help. I did it, e. I did it Hallelujah! Not saying that I was perfect not saying that I did everything right because I was not a parent when I married. I was not a parent when I married Martin, but I became one. Got said he would settle me, the barren woman in a family. He said he was settled and he did it. You did it. Hallelujah. I still praise God for that wouldn’t change. It wouldn’t have it any other way back, too, my son.

And there were more things that those devilish circumstances and evil events that he had to overcome in his life. So he had some internal struggles going on, but he overcame them with God’s help to the best of his ability. He overcame them. We got you up to the best of his ability, and people spoke of him at his home going service. They spoke of him as a good natured person, always a joke, sir, having fun. And I was able to say this part that so many people adopted him as their son. So many mothers, quite a few fathers, but especially mother. Say it Dr him as their son all over the place. And I call that the spirit of adoption. He had the spirit of adoption flowing in his life. And it was a wonderful thing to see. And people all over came out to say that about him. And I was also able to say, Let me tell you that spirit of adoption, that gift of hiss flow from the father. But it also flowed through his natural father. It floats or him foreign ground, Signor. It flowed through him because he was a family man and he had a spirit of adoption on him. And flowing through his life were not only did he have mothers and fathers adopt him his son, because he modeled the good son. He modeled the good son. And so did my guards in your And that’s not to say that Father son doesn’t he does it to He has that same spirit of adoption flowing through his life. So if I don’t mention him as much, this is Barnes attribute von junior, and so I may not mention my other son as much. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have the same love, compassion and spirit adoption flowing through him. Hallelujah!

And so one other thing that I want to express about born Junior’s mother is that we as a unit eventually came together. We has a parenting unit. We eventually came together and parented them as a unit, not saying that we were all hunky dorey all the time because we were not. The division was great between my husband and her. The division was great. So we never achieved really good friendship or, you know, hanging out. Buddy. Buddy, got a thing. We never gonna cheat that we did model walking in. I got the love we may not have achieved. That other kind of will see Good. She’s stuck up. We were all three very strong willed, and we were unpretentious. All three were unpretentious. You got what you got from us? We weren’t fakers. In other words, we marked Lakers, So if we weren’t feeling it, we were not gonna sit down and fate with you. May I say that plainly and that doesn’t see it. That didn’t serve us well. That in service well, in some arenas. And that’s why even now, I struggle with the political games that people play and most profits aren’t born to be in politics. It’s too difficult because politics they do that all day. They do that all day. I observe it. So we were not that way. But we had learned we learned how to come into agreement about our sons. We learned that and we modeled that that a government got a love and we make the best decisions that we could.

And one other thing I want to say about that before I leave. This is that I was 1/3 party in the decision making. But my God, I put my input in it. I said, You’re not gonna have me for my whole life into these boys and then say to me that I don’t have any input that I don’t have any say I may not make the can make the final decision, but I will have my safe. I will stand for right and I’m again. I’m talking to somebody. Maybe you’re right there. Oh, you didn’t birth them. So you don’t really have a say and I’m here to tell you. You do. You do have a safe. If you’ve been spending out your money, you’ve been spending your time. You’re not a livin baby sitter, your mother, your father. And for this message, we can lose the step part, your mother, your father. And don’t let anybody push you around because of it. And I would say in a minute I may not have birthed them, but they are my sons. And I believe God gave me that militants because I needed it. I needed it.

I’m the type of person that you know. If you don’t want to hear me, I’m subject by natural self, not God’s wisdom, but my natural cell. You don’t wanna You act like you don’t want to hear me. I’m gone. Going like I don’t have to waste my time talking to you if you don’t want to hear me. But God’s wisdom says sometimes with loving kindness, sometimes you sit news influence to attempt to get the person to hear you. Don’t just write him off so quick. Don’t just in pride stop off because they looked like they don’t want to hear you are Listen to you don’t give up so easily. But take a stand, take a stand for right You see? Right. And it doesn’t feel right. What you see going on, Step up, Speak out. Take a stand and you say something about it. And that was for the step Moms it I know. I said I wouldn’t mention the step, but I want you to know who I’m talking to. The step moms and step that, you know, Jesus does.

It was Jesus step that so Jesus knows about those blended families. Those were his step sisters and brothers changes James. Them, uh, those were his step sisters and brothers. He knows all about that blended family. So it’s all right. I still get that sometime. Uh, I’ll mention my sons and some of the mothers. Hey, you know what a critical spirit. The ones with the critical spirit that we’re going like Oh, they’re just your stepson, right? Really? Your sons, if you know me, if you know anything about me, you you would not take that Stay. Not around me. Anyway, you may get your full. You may get your full. I’ve calmed down a lot. This is those devilish circumstances. Evil events that I was talking about. I have to take that militant stand sometimes.

So when these things would happen, I didn’t have total control of the decision as to what happened next. What happened next in our family for our periods. But the decision was made between my late husband and their mother and when several of those there were circumstances came up my vote, my input, We’ll say no, we don’t need to let them. We don’t need to release them back to that situation. Yeah, I know, Um, things seem to be better, but that’s, you know, I’m not totally against that, but let’s just wait a while. But you know, that decision wasn’t totally in my hands, but I gave my input. And so, um, even when those things came up, the decision was made because of my husband’s heart toward that person, a promise was made that he would never stand in the way you would never hold them back. And so chance up the chance was given. Yeah, you know, to make it work.

And, um, our part was to assist, to try toe, make that happen easier. And there’s no blame. I’m not casting any blame. I’m not casting any blame. That’s why I call it devilish circumstances and evil event. But I So Barn junior had those things to overcome. But especially Lauren June, you’re so he had this struggle in a Times E. But other. Our challenge was to not be hard, hard on him and especially not extra hard. But we did have to discipline him. God would challenge us. He would correct us. No, you have to discipline him and them are younger. Son is well, you have to discipline them. Yeah, I know it’s painful and, you know, I know these things have happened in his life, but he’s still needs discipline and he gave us the story.

At one point, he gave us the story of Eli and the story of the lying the Bible is He did not discipline his sons and they just ran Wow, prostituting in the temple. Talk about disrespect of the temple. They were hitting on the women going in and out of there, sleeping with him and doing all kinds of stuff against God and against man. So Eli was guilty of not discipline his sons and even the celebrated King David for a couple of his sons. He failed with them. I can’t I’m never gonna try that name. But it’s one of the other signs. Not absolute but absolutes. Brother, he said he never told him. No, he never told him no. And so he didn’t have that discipline in his life in his life, showed it his decisions that he made. They were not good. And the Bible tells us part of that was King David’s fault because he never told him no one way. He never told him one way or the other, so he didn’t give him confirmation, either. So the bottom line is he did not give him discipline. So I that’s all I have to say about that right now. If anything else comes up by the spirit, I will speak of it because this is about proceeding to the route.

There’s been an interruption just in case you’re just tuning in. There’s been an interruption in my life, and I cannot go on as usual. And I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to talk about some things to preach about some things, and I’m still calling it a sermon. I know it sounds like I’m just talking. But I’m not just talking. I’m not just talking. Just in case you thought I was just talking. I’m not just talking. So because of, uh, our relationship, I think I just mentioned that, uh, Tina Tina Brown, my late husband’s first wife, the mother of his Children. I’ll put it like that. The mother of his Children, They made the decision. But when it came to things like that and I was 1/3 party as this step mom. But I made sure I had my input. I made sure if I felt it, the need to that I would say what I feel and it wasn’t It wouldn’t be in anything the wrong perspective. I value them, allowing me input in my son’s life. I was thankful. I was thankful that they eventually including two Tina. They had respect for my opinion. That’s what I’m trying to express that respect for my opinion speaking.

Eventually, Tina said to her sons, You boys are special. Most people have one mom, but you have two hands on. She didn’t say that to me, but she said it to them and I was so grateful that she had had that that she made peace with maybe in a part of their lives and me wanting to be a part of their lives. And you mothers that have step Mom, moms and your Children, good step moms and your Children’s like I know there’s some evil step moms out there, too. I’m not negating that set, but I was not one of them. And if you are fortunate enough to have a good step Mom in your Children’s life, don’t fight her. Do your best not to fight her, and she’s a lot of meat on them. Allow her make it easier. It’s not all about what you want or what you missed out on or feel that you deserve. It’s not all about that, but it’s about your Children receiving what they should receive, which is wholesome, good instruction, wholesome, good discipline and love. It’s about them receiving the love that extra love, a bonus mom, a friend of aunt says. And that’s a good thing. I remind you again that Jesus had a blended family, so it’s not a the end of the world. If you have a blended family now, It’s not the end of the world. God is still got and he will help you.

But, you know, to get to that perspective, you have to forgive. You have to forgive. I, um, was a victim of domestic abuse, and I couldn’t see a lot of things straight until I forgave. I couldn’t. It was like I was looking through the glass, peering through the glass darkly. It was crowded, it was clouded. But once I forgave and begin to walk in forgiveness. It’s not a one time event. It’s a choice, and it’s ongoing. Once I forgave, I could see clearly and again I was receiving that wisdom from God, that understanding on how to do things better, I proceeded to the route. Let me throw that in there. That’s our titles. So I proceeded to the route. Once I forgave So God may be calling you to proceed to the root through your parenting through your forgiveness of that man of that woman. He wants you to forgive them. And yes, they may have done some wrong things. They may have done some wrong things and for some of you some horrible things, but you have to forgive. And the forgiveness is not just for them. You know, they could. They may be going on about their business.

Now I am thinking about you. But here you are stuck behind the need to forgive. God is calling you to forgive, Say with me right now. This is for someone specifically Clara. This is what Clara and so many more of you. But God sees you, Clara. He sees you and he is calling you to forgive. It’s a decision is a choice. He won’t make you forgive. But it’s so much better on the other side and you may not feel like it. I don’t always feel like forgiving. And especially if the person has done evil things to me or toward me. I don’t feel like forgiving, but it’s not a feeling either. It’s not a feeling. Forgiveness is not a feeling. We have to humble ourselves and say the words Say with me. You can put their name, their Clara and anyone else that needs to do this. You can put their name, their father. I forgive. And we have to do it the way Jesus did it. Father, I forgive. I forgive them. I released them. Don’t hold it against them. That’s the way Jesus were gay from the cross. We have to do that, my friend. I released them. Don’t hold it against them. And then I’m gonna teach you another well part I loose and let go. Say it with me now I loosened. Let go! Oh, ill feeling, Resentment, criticism, judgment offend unforgiveness I loosen it, let it go.

And here’s the last part. I put all of that that whole scenario, everything that’s been swirling about. You know, I have to do that with those people. With that. You don’t try to block me out of my son’s life in these recent events, no mention of me, our life together. But I forgave them and I lose and let go of all those ill feelings judgment. That’s why I could stand strong and say what I said because I didn’t have one forgiveness in my heart. I didn’t have critical feelings, ill feelings, because when I prayed that prayer got removed it and let me finish this little last part after loosen and let go say I put all of that holding all those hurtful words, all those all that rejection. I put all of that others those scenes that they played out under the blood of Jesus and under the Christ within me to be dissolved and healed. Yes, so pray that if you’re listening later on, pray that every time that’s how you forgive.

That’s how you forgive that. That’s what stops the replace. You know, that stinger that’s left in there from some things, some darts that have been sent your way, the enemy fashion, that that thing that just hurt you that were the way they just rejected you that was sent as a dark and it leaves a stinger. It just sets. Replay just pushes replay. But you do it that way, and it removes the stinger. It removes the stinger and you can walk free and you don’t have to say this part. But let me tell you, once you do that, then you’re open and receptive to God’s highest wheel. His highest Well, for you, his blessings. We’re gonna run out to you and overtake you because you obey him and you for gay. He commands us to forgive. He commands us to forgive. So let me move on from that. Barnes Jr He had a strong spirit of adoption flowing through his life. And I mentioned that briefly earlier. But he had model is all over the place. He had. Mom was all because of that son Shit. He walked in. It was a good sign, not saying he was perfect because he had those are struggles.

And sometimes he would distance himself from us because he didn’t want to receive correction. Rumor that discipline. I just talked about that. God commanded us as parents to give him. We didn’t want him school rotten, even though he had experienced those evil events and devilish circumstances. And I’m saying it like that because I’m not here to blame anybody. But I’m not here to sugarcoat it either. I’m not here to covering over and say it didn’t happen. I’m not here to do that. So that’s why I express it like that. I’m sure the people that know the rial fats you know who I’m talking about. But it doesn’t serve God’s purpose for me to side with the accuser. So the best of my ability I will not do that. I will not. So he had those struggles going on, and sometimes you were distance himself from his father and myself, and he would be feeling disgruntled so he would express it. I don’t know how he would express it. I wasn’t ever present, but I would feel the effects of it. He was. Ah, hi influencer. I remember one time with the cousins.

They loved him dearly, and they showed up in force yesterday. And it was a beautiful sight to see a beautiful sight to see and not to bring any shame to him. He was just a a tear trying to make his way. And he got his first car and he worked and say He stayed with us for that season and he worked and saved up. I think our contribution we weren’t wealthy people. I’d say we were lower middle class at that point. And so we contributed $600 you know, I know that’s just Ah, a tiny drop for some families. But for us, it was a lot. And for some families, you know what I’m talking about? $600 we now $600 laying around. So we had to, you know, get together to even contribute that amount and, uh he got his car. So it was like he just his head just blew. Might be Starts saying, you know, I’m grown. Yeah. Okay. Tell me that I got my car myself. The you know, being the step mom that I would be in the mom that I wa sai saying. Well, well, well, what about that $600 we just gave you? We just contributed. I think most of it came from my side, you know, out of my pocket.

So it wasn’t like so I took it rather personal. And, uh, I said, besides that you’re not paying red here, and you’re not buying your food, and you’re not. You know, all of that is a part of our contribution. We’re not asking anything of you. You you had the opportunity to just focus all of your attention on getting this car, you know, saving up for this car through his work. And but he went around us, and he had done it all by himself. I couldn’t say anything to him and his Dan can say they dio. And so he, uh, he was coming home late, and his dad said You need to come home and get some rest. You don’t need to go there, you know, which is a he didn’t say, You know, like in a loud, abusive type tone or anything like that. He just He wasn’t the type of man to bite his tongue, telling the sons what he needs, what they needed to do. And that’s how we are his parents. I’m not bashing anybody.

I’m just trying to express this in the best way. I know how that will help you. That will help him. And s O Lord gave me the scripture. The one that refuses his father’s instruction. It said something like, I will pay a price. And I said to my husband, I said, Do you think this is talking about Judy? You think this is talking about You think the Holy Spirit is talking about Junior? He said, Yeah, I think so. And I said, Oh, God, don’t let it be Tubing of a price, Father, I know he’s active, rebellious right now, Father, but it’ll be tough for you before my friend, not many days from them. Then he had ah rushed out and I think moved in when one of his other mama’s Hey, moved in with her are her family. That was a thing about having a lot of mama’s. Sometimes if you’re running from correction and your parents will recognize this pattern sometimes if you’re running from correction, you run. Tow one of those other mama’s. But guys got your number. God has their number. If you’re the one running, God has your number. And if you’re the parent, God has their number. He ran over there for escape, and and it’s not like we were telling him anything wrong. We weren’t telling him anything wrong. And we didn’t have the heart to be hard on because we knew his history so we wouldn’t you know, even though this one we were able to give him, we wouldn’t be harsh with it s so anyway, he ran over there.

And then within a few days, he had hit a tree and his cousin was with them and broke a femur bone, and we knew it could have been worse. It could have been worse, and God spared him. And I believe you know, the enemy is the cause of the destruction, and he’s the cause of killing and stealing. But through our prayers got could intervene and, I believe, got intervene through his prayers. He takes it serious. His kids, it takes its areas. He takes it serious. And so I said all that to say that he would distance him self from us. Sometimes for that reason, he didn’t want to receive the discipline, or he was, uh may have been living a lifestyle other than he, but he knew what? Please. His parents, all three of us, and, uh, he would distance himself. And I mean, by that I mean that he would if you got a new phone, he wouldn’t exactly include us and let us know what his new number was and all of that. And so I was trying to tell you about that influence or that he waas he had hit that tree broken finger bone. He was in the hospital and all the cousins and everybody just went down there, and it was, you know, loving on him and encourage him.

But he was just in a brown mood, and he was rude to the nurses and still in that mode we came and we still weren’t feeling that hunky dorey with them about his disobedience, and somehow he swore that he didn’t say anything. But somehow the cousins, I thought we were mistreating him and they were sued us with daggers. There were the eyes, and everybody was looking at us like we were mean parents that I was very hurtful. But ah, we forgave them and they didn’t realize that got through us was disciplining him. Training him. Discipline is not a bad word. I used to think it waas, but it’s not a bad word. But the word of God tells us gods discipline may not always feel good. It may hurt, but in the end we’re trained for life’s righteousness. We’re trained for righteousness, and it will bear fruit in her life. And that’s I mentioned King David Sung. That’s what did not happen for him. He didn’t benefit from the training that discipline brings. So I encourage you parent to take courage and have the strength to discipline. God will give you wisdom.

After our teenager, after our sides became teenagers, we came up with creative ways to discipline them, still, to provide them that discipline from our home, and I think they’ve been. If it’s over, they are the men and my son, this deceased, he was the man, a partly a man, that he waas a good man, a good son, because we found ways to obey God and discipline him. And I say it like that because it was God’s call to do that. God’s called to do that no matter what he had already experienced. As Children, we need discipline. It’s the same way with our father, the same way with our father. Maybe you don’t have Children yet, and that’s okay. But God, still you are a child of God and he will give you is discipline. He will. He’ll give it to you because he’s a good father. He’s a loving father. The Old Testament. I think it’s in the proverbs says if you don’t give your child discipline, it’s a sign of hatred, and I know that strong words. But I didn’t say that. The Bible says that if we don’t discipline our Children, it’s hatred. And I know you love your Children. You love them, but you have to have the strength and God will help you again. God will help you. You’ll give you the courage he’ll give you the right perspective. You know, we as parents, we want to be there, buddy, and we want to be their friend. But sometimes if we give in to those feelings and I’m not talking about harsh discipline, I’m not talking about beatings.

Not the reason I would get so hot under the collar when some people would accuse my husband of being ah, harsh father, because when he’s made them when he would wouldn’t spare the rod when he spanked them and it was usually only two or three licks and we’re not even talking. I mean, it would be hard enough where they would know, but and he didn’t believe in spanking with his hands. He didn’t use a candid nine tails, but he did spank them occasionally. It wasn’t there many times. Um, as teenagers, we would use privilege, the privilege system, you know, we will withdraw some of those privileges and, you know, that would get their attention faster than any spanking be it. It would it would get their attention. So I talked about that. I’m gonna end this portion right here, but I wanted to say that remodel a Gadhafi love and we did our best And that’s really all you could do, right? That’s all you can do with God’s help. You do? All right? You’re doing your best, and you’re allowing Got input. It was guys. And put that said, no, you need to pull back here.

Yes, I I’m aware that you’re sorry that these things have happened in your son’s life and I mean both of them right now, Uh, I know you’re sorry that these things happen, but you can’t overcome it and say it is not good for them for you to open over compensate. And we have started out doing that left and right, we would over compensate. We would get them gifts. And, you know, we were just tore the live alone for the love on. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t do that, but there should be balance. That should be balance to the point where it just made a lot of people jealous and thinking that we were slinging money around that their mother things that their mother couldn’t afford When actuality. We just wanted to make it better for them. Make it better. From I know your parents know what I mean and you step parents. You know exactly what I mean. You wanted to make it better for them.

The guy’s input was was saying at one point point there, it’s too much. You’re not gonna help them. In the end, it’s gonna ruin them. If you don’t give them discipline, they’re not gonna be able to make good choices because you didn’t discipline them. So we don’t want to be guilty of that as parents. The state balance is all I’m telling you. Seek balance, and God’s input will give you the balance that you need. It did us. It gave us balance. He gave us balance. So I want to declare another thing about my son’s death. I want to declare this. It was not God’s will that he died before he was 40. It was not God’s will, and I know well meaning people say that all the time, and I have heard it by a few times, this time special with my late husband. I heard it, but it does not comfort me when people say that it just makes me angry. It just makes me angry and not so much at the person that sent it, because I know they don’t have an understanding.

But I’m here to declare to you today. It was not got its well that he died before 40. And if you have a child that’s died, it was not gots will, Jesus said. Hey, said the thief. The devil came to steal, kill and destroy. Hey said that I have come, that light, that you have life more abundantly and death does not sound like life more abundantly. He died so that we could live. And I know that there is a sovereign God and this is my final statement of this session. But there’s a sovereign God and he allows things that we don’t always understand. But it’s not his highest intent. It’s not his highest wheel that our Children die so young that our smiles left this earth early. That’s not his wheel, since I have some more to say about that in the next session.

But I want you to know, I declare it. It’s not God’s will, you know? People say, Well, God needed him into having more. He did not. She did not need him in heaven. It was the devil’s intent. It was the devils will not God gotta. Still a good guy. He’s still a faithful God.


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